10 Great, Ideal, Solid-Mithril Concepts For ‘Lord Of The Bands’ TV Spin-Offs
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On Monday, Amazon Studios announced it had acquired the rights to take J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Bands to tv. The ink’s still wet on the deal, so facts are sketchy.
We realize only that it’ll be an ongoing, multi-season series that will “bring to the display previously unexplored stories based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s original writings,” in line with the press release – and that it’ll be set before the Fellowship of the Band, the first level of Tolkien’s main LoTR saga.
Now: That means it could be an immediate prequel, taking place through the 60 years that stretch between the events of The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Band – but what if they decide to double down in the pre- of everything, and set it even more back in time?
There’s no shortage of material. BOTH Hobbit and The Lord of the Bands are set at the end of what Tolkien referred to as the 3rd Age – but he wrote many, many tales set through the First and Second Age ranges of Middle-Earth. In The Silmarillion, he so long as world’s creation myth, and in literature like Unfinished Tales, THE ANNALS of Middle-Earth, THE KIDS of Hurin and Beren and Luthien, his son Christopher has woven along fragments of tales and poems that build out the universe even more.
The most intriguing passage of the announcement, nevertheless, was this:
The deal carries a potential additional spin-off series.
The hunt is on for the series which will be the Maude to Lord of the Bands’ All in the Relatives. The Empty Nest to its Golden Girls.
… The She-Ra to its He-Man.
We have ideas.
1. The Tom Bombadil Mysteries
Everyone’s favourite immortal forest-spirit and his wife Goldberry caper through The Ancient Forest solving animal-on-creature crimes even though singing tra-la-la-la!
It’s … it’s significantly less annoying than it noises, the singing.
2. Hangin’ With Mr. Bombadil
Everyone’s favourite immortal forest-spirit and his wife Goldberry kick it with some of Arthedain’s surliest, most hardened teenagers. They provide straight talk, and tough love … and singing. Plenty of singing. So, so very much singing.
3. CSI: Numenor
Join Nindamos’s brilliant but troubled medical examiner as he solves crimes and snippily dismisses his assistant’s concerns about rising sea levels.
Join the women and men of B.O.M.B.A.D.We.L – The Benevolent Order of Merry, Bucolic Brokers of Divine-Ish Law – as they defend the Kingdom of Arnor’s borders from those who would upset the normal balance, only using their wits. And singing.
5. Survivorman: Rhovanion
Test your survival skills against the Ranger men phone Strider, or Longshanks. How will he survive in The Wild? Where did he find out so much Elvish lore about herbs and berries? And why does his hair look so excellent when he hasn’t showered in months? Can be that the Numenorian genes or what?
6. Middle-Earth Blues
Learn how the Shed Wizards, Alantar and Pallando, got thus lost! This inseparable, frequently squabbling pair of Blue Istari have their magic show on the highway, but the risque mother nature of their double-have action – and their in-your-deal with life-choices – are frequently getting them in warm water with the neighborhood constabulary.
7. Project Runway: The Old Forest
Everyone’s favourite immortal forest-spirit and his wife Goldberry sponsor a reality competition in which contestants have to pretend to take fashion advice from a man who’d wear yellow shoes with a blue jacket. Likewise somehow there’s singing included?
8. Gardenin’ With The Ol’ Gaffer
The Shire’s premiere organic farmer shares guidelines for growing pretty flowers and PO-TAY-TOES an’ like this, yessir.
9. To The Manor Beorn
Hijinks ensue when Arda’s surliest, sexiest were-bear moves in nearby to a veddy veddy proper aristocratic woman of Minas Tirith’s uppermost tier. It’s musk-scented, class-based hilarity!
In this fish-out-of-water comedy, everyone’s favorite immortal forest-spirit is forced to move back in with his mother when his wife, Goldberry, dumps him for a malevolent willow tree. Can Tom produce a new existence for himself as a promises adjuster, despite the fact that his co-staff frown on his singing in the office?