Stephen Colbert Unloads about Roy Moore


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Moore Goes ‘a-Food Courtin’

Stephen Colbert devoted a full segment of Tuesday’s “Late Display” to the sexual misconduct allegations which have been lodged against Roy Moore, the Republican prospect for Alabama’s open Senate seat. Mr. Colbert focused on reports that whenever Mr. Moore was in his 30s, he was recognized to spend time in Alabama store shopping malls, communicating with teenage girls.

“Found in the ’80s, when he was an area assistant district lawyer, Moore was banned from an Alabama retail center for bothering teenage females. The only place in the mall girls were secure was Forever 21, because that is way too old for Roy Moore.” – STEPHEN COLBERT “One Alabama resident recalls, ‘It appeared like every Friday or Saturday nights you’d see him travelling the mall, just like the kids did.’ Very well, he wasn’t travelling exactly like the kids did – because he wasn’t looking over his shoulder for Roy Moore.” – STEPHEN COLBERT

“That’s only Roy Moore’s approach to romance: Placed on your finest slacks, and go a-food courtin’.” – STEPHEN COLBERT

Mr. Colbert was especially outraged when he read that Mr. Moore possessed reportedly flirted for years with a woman who decked out as Santa’s helper at a mall, ultimately asking her out when she was 16.

“He hit on one of Santa’s elves? Very well, a genuine evangelical – he’s placing the ‘Christ!’ back Christmas.” – STEPHEN COLBERT

‘Collusion Confusion’

Attorney General Jeff Periods testified on Tuesday prior to the Property Judiciary Committee as part of the investigation into Russia’s role in the 2016 presidential election. As he had in testimony in October, Mr. Sessions frequently said that he could not answer questions staying posed to him because he could not remember the issue in question.

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